17-seconds.com: May 2015

...to the Fucking Stanley Cup Finals

2015●05●30: Grundle Duck Butter. Blackhawks vs The Dirty Mallard. GO HAWKS!!!

The Minutiae & Mundane

Time: 7:00 PM
TV: CBC, NBC, TVA
Radio: WGN 720 Amplitude Modulation
BH Buzz-zzzzzzzzz!
The Press Kit: So many pages…
Coach Q, may he lead us to glory
That other guy, who looks like a giant baby
Foul and Fowler

Live or die weekend

I know it’s not L.A., but SoCal is SoCal, right?

2015-05-29: It’ll soon be here

It’ll be here, better than before.

2015-05-28: Praise for the singing, praise for the morning

It’s a brand new day, mothfuckers!

2015●05●27: If God Had Wanted Us To Fly He Wouldn’t Have Taken Away Our Wings: Where Are My Pants? Blackhawks vs Malicious Mallard Mothfuckers. GO HAWKS!!!

The Minutiae & Mundane

Time: 7:00 PM

TV: CBC, TVA, NBCSN

Radio: WGN 720 Amplitude Modulation

BH Buzz-zzzzzzzzz!

The Press Kit: So many pages…

Our general

The enemy

Those who would give aid and comfort to the enemy

2015-05-27: Fighting our way back

Busting out and going in!

2015-05-25: If only you believed in miracles

We’d get by.

2015●05●25: Coach Q’s Quack of Dawn Wisequacker Firequacker Fowl Weather Forecast: PAIN. Blackhawks vs Quackhead Quackfuck Quack Quack Quacks. QUACK! GO HAWKS!!!

The Minutiae & Mundane

Time: 8:00 PM
TV: CBC, TVA, NBCSN
Radio: WGN 720 Amplitude Modulation
BH Buzz-zzzzzzzzz!
The Press Kit: So many pages…
Q has the words
They’re birds or whatever
Turds rhymes with birds so we’ll go with that

2015●05●23: Confucius Say: “Man Who Stand On Hill With Mouth Open Will Wait Long Time For Roast Duck to Drop In”. Blackhawks vs Anal Anatidae. GO HAWKS!!!

The Minutiae & Mundane

Time: 7:00 PM

TV: CBC, NBC, TVA

Radio: WGN 720 Amplitude Modulation

BH Buzz-zzzzzzzzz!

The Press Kit: So many pages…

The Q*Bert

Ducks schmucks

Walt’s minions

Pre-Game 4: Bring on Kucera

If you haven’t read Mike Rupp’s Piece
it’s pretty accurate. Hawks need to focus on moving their sizeable opponent around. That’s an easy thing to say, but how does that even play out?

2015-05-22: I am wrong

Look at me I’m Coach Q, dur dur durrrr I like going for rides hurr durrrr!!

Or whatever.

2015●05●21: ARE YOU FUCKING GODDAMN COCKSUCKERS KIDDING ME YOU ROTTING FUCKING CUNTHEADS. Blackhawks vs Rotting Fucking Cuntheads. GO HAWKS!!!

The Minutiae & Mundane

Time: 7:00 PM

TV: CBC, TVA, NBCSN

Radio: WGN 720 Amplitude Modulation

BH Buzz-zzzzzzzzz!

The Press Kit: So many pages…

Q’s words

Quack, obviously

Hello? Falco?

2015-05-20: The smiles returning to the faces

It feels like years since last night’s game started.

It’s Over. In a good Way. Fuck Anaheim.

2015●05●19: The Ducks Are What We Thought They Were. We Played ‘em in the WCF—Who the Hell Takes a First Game of the WCF Like it’s Bullshit? Bullshit! Now if You Want to Crown 'em, Then Crown They Ass! But They Are Who We Thought They Were! And We Let 'em Off the Hook! Blackhawks vs Lame Duck Administration. GO HAWKS!!!

The Minutiae & Mundane

Time: 8:00 PM

TV: CBC, TVA, NBCSN

Radio: WGN 720 Amplitude Modulation

BH Buzz-zzzzzzzzz!

The Press Kit: So many pages…

News from the Stache

Quacks from the Ducks

Charges not accepted

2015-05-18: Electricity

The ultimate discovery.

Dude, nothing is fucked here. These guys are fucking amateurs.

2015●05●17: It’s Not Nice to Fool With the Dark Overlords: Where Are My Pants? Blackhawks vs Seeing Eye Ducks. GO HAWKS!!!

The Minutiae & Mundane

05.17.15 - And so it begins...

Pretty sure everything that can be said about the game has already been said. Feel free, however, to freshen up the links. I’ve set it so that links submitted over 24 hours ago turn grey. Lots o’ grey in there. Anyway, Nick Cave is as good as anyone to start off the show.

One other thing: Let’s Go Hawks!

05.16.2015

This is the post we have for anything happening today (go usa). For tomorrow, well

05.15.2015 Quizonic Dragon Slain

I’m pretty sure I’ve successfully replaced the chat box with a RYO links lister. The Wurst Box displays the 17 most recent links with the newest links at the top. The list will have our NHL SC Playoffs bracket at the top until the Cup is awarded and either CrazeeEddie or Chidiver gloats sufficiently. I’m leaving the form open for now so everyone should be able to submit links as they wish. If it gets spammed, I’ll remove the link and mail it to whoever desires it.

05/14/15

WARNING: CLOCKS

Caps fans are going to need some comfort:

2015-05-12: Sitting around

At least there’s one game on tonight. Unfortunately, it features the Lightning.

The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck - Walter Cronkite

Still a few days to go before We Fight, and Bite
We Fight and Fight and Bite Fight, Fight, Fight, Bite, Bite, Bite the Blackhawks and Dumb Ducks Show

Weekend Wheel Watching

Time to do some spectating!

20150508

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.

You will never be entirely comfortable. This is the truth behind the champion – he is always fighting something. To do otherwise is to settle

2015●05●07: One Night, I’m Gonna Come to You, Inside of Your House, Wherever You’re Sleeping, and I’m Going to Cut Your Throat. Blackhawks vs Leopold Losers. GO HAWKS!!!ELVIS COSTELLO - PUMP IT UP by huntylchThe Minutiae & MundaneTime: 8:30 PMTV: NBCSN, SN, TVA2Radio: WGN 720 Amplitude ModulationBH Buzz-zzzzzzzzz!The Press Kit: doesn’t seem to existQ*BertDonkey YeongThe Mild BoysPotent PotablesHe’ll fill those openings, nudge nudge wink winkLive from St. Paul, it’s Thursday Night!Back in businessThat depends on your perpsectiveLike the rays of the sunThere is no tomorrow (warning: autoplay)Stop the insanity! (warning: autoplay)Not JUST by being French!

2015-05-07 -- Be thankful it wasn’t Melissa Manchester

20150506 - Rollin’ Rollin’Rollin’ Keep them doggies rollin’

If I recall correctly, 2010 was the last time this team enjoyed a 3-0 lead in a series. That doesn’t mean the same results will happen this year, but the all-around play of the team does suggest a similar sort of inevitability. When it’s all done, we may well consider this lineup to be the best of the Daydream Nation era.

After that game, it’s time we turn to Stinky Wizzleteats to cap it off.

2015●05●05: You’re Just a Little Piece of Competition: Bastard From a Basket. Bastard From a Basket! You’re a Bastard From a Basket! Blackhawks vs. Yeo-Stained Wretches. GO HAWKS!!!The Minutiae & MundaneTime: 7:00 PMTV: CBC, TVA, NBCSNRadio: WGN 720 Amplitude ModulationBH Buzz-zzzzzzzzz!The Press Kit: So many pages…Q SauceYeogurtNorthern pike and walleyesPotent PotablesStuff’s going to happen tonightBesides being dreamy and stuffAs long as there’s no Nicholas CageShifty (warning: autoplay)Oh the cruel irony!Never disagree with the family (warning: autoplay)Bananaphone! (video)The poor Flams

150505: Happy Cinco De Mayo

In honor of that which does not exist:

Now bring on the effing game already. Cheesewhiz Crackers.

20150504 - Return of the Links

For the first time in a while, there’s really nothing to complain about. But I’m sure some will find it easy to point out that something to everything is wrong.