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2015∙12∙01 MIN@CHI GDT: I Don’t Know What They’re Thinking: Moving Towards a “Glideless" (monophthongal) [o~oː]. Blackhawks vs Sweater Foul. GO HAWKS!!

Dorp translation: It’s the accent, Dorp! The sounds of the North Central dialect follow a General American pronunciation system, except for these distinctions:i/uː/ (the vowel in the word boot) and i/oʊ/ (the vowel in boat) are conservatively formed in the back of the mouth, when compared to General American (in which the tongue is typically more fronted). See? They’re stupid. That’s why they talk funny and sign moderately talented players to unfathomable contracts. 11 million USD this year! For two of em! Coached by Mike Yeo! Talk aboot yer monophthongals, eh? One of those 11 mill guys thinks Yeo is a dipshit, which is hilarious but true and ensures they will provide a springy doormat for some lucky Central Div team this year also. And who's got uglier sweaters? Heh, they let Mike Yeo coach them. Heh. GO HAWKS!!

inspiration: bbSask
earmeat:   zamm